She Cannot Sleep

There is very little to worry about when you're in the arms of an all-powerful, all-knowing, most wise and merciful and gracious God. How blessed we are here... Let our lives be used to point others to eternity.

Hah.

So today I observed that when I start out my day with a nice little session of crying my eyes out unabashedly in the comfort and solitude of my room, all the rest of the day I was able to be [somewhat] extraordinarily patient and tender-hearted and cheerful! I felt like it anyways. Maybe I should work this into my schedule? ;P It's an intriguing thought—the harder I cry the better of a person I become. Just thought it was a little funny. :] P.S.- Exactly one month today from my birthday! ^.^ So happy.

I'll Look Back And Regret When I Ignored When They Said 'Run As Fast As You Can'

Good Evening. I'm...a little confused. And I think that's the extent of my ability to understand or express what's going on inside my heart right now. So we will smile, and live.

Evil Is A Whisper

Evil is a whisper—
A hint of a notion inside your head

Evil hides itself in trifles,
Thriving on your smallest weakness

Evil, a hairline fracture,
Begins as little and large as a pinprick

Evil may be a good intention
Saturated in selfish desire

Evil knows you inside-out
Evil knows where you go to rest, to retreat

Evil knows you as a foe
And so appears a friend

Subtle and sly...Evil will be your last thought
If and when you say goodbye

Who Needs Smiles When I've Got Buttons?

I spent yesterday and the day before that hiding from the sun in my room, being sick and wallowing in the pitiful state of my useles, unfruitful existence. It was quite stimulating. I thought about a lot that I'll never remember I thought of; read a few pages in the first Lord of the Rings book; and slept away most of the day, using my head-cold as an excuse. It was pathetic. I was pathetic. It was a pathos party with my Teddy bear(the teddybear for which I am and shall remain eternally grateful for. I wish it were socially acceptable to go around hugging my Teddy bear all day... I think it would be really nice). I didn't take a shower all day. I stayed in my pajamas. It was gross. My hair was greasy. Really greasy. I might be a little less ashamed of it, had I not just come back from a three week vacation which mostly involved sitting and sleeping in a car, and not exercising in 4 weeks. (disclaimer:not complaining about vacation! Chastising self for laziness) I hate summer. But this is not summer's fault. This is my fault. I have no goals. I'm hardly doing anything with my life, or investing in my future beyond the bare requirements of day to day school, when I have it. I barely even have a passion. Don't people usually know their passion by age 10, at least? ;P I'm just going to wake up someday to find a zombie staring back at me from the reflection of the window inside the poorly lit laundromat near the cardboard box that I'll be living in, making baskets and paper hats and can sculptures. I have no direction that I'm moving toward! I'm young and have my whole life in front of me and I'm about to waste it! It's retarded! I hate summer. *cough cough* Alright, the end. You can stop skipping down the page now, I've finished. *snifflesniffle* *reaches for a tissue* and it really wasn't even that bad of a cold. ...sorry. I wish fruit and vegetables were as cheap as junk food... It would be really nice.

Happy Summer! Let's Talk About Death.

Sometimes, after I listen to my friends talk about all their plans for life, I think about how—statistically—half of them will probably be dead before any of their dreams ever can come true. Or how maybe I am part of that percentage of my generation who won't make it to a twenty-fifth year of existence.

 At first it's rather depressing; and I wonder what meaning there could be in a life so fraught with pain and broken-ness. What point is there? Why take the precious time I have here on earth and invest it in something(or someone) who could very well be gone tomorrow? Likewise, how could anyone see reason in doing the same for me? Why do we waste our lives so? Everything is going to end. The world itself must die eventually. Examples in nature tell us as much.

 And then I remember that death is not the end. I remember joyfully that death has in reality been conquered. Crushed, smothered, stripped of its power and glory. Death, ye be not proud. Though you deceive and seem to take captive all those I hold dear, I know it is but a bluff. I know of the soul's immortality; I know of an everlasting home. I know of an eternal Savior. In fact, investing in a human's soul is the one thing in this world that holds any lasting value at all, because it is the only thing we jaw that is lasting.

 I believe this. I forget a lot; but I believe it to be true. I'm tempted to give up time and time again, but I pray for restraint. Just as all this world's joys will end, so too will its grievances.

Take heart my friends—we will emerge from this battle victorious and shining in the light of He who defeated pain and suffering.

 Death, thou shalt die.

I Love The Grey Skies And The Blue, And The Sunshine Laughing At You

I love life.

I love my family.

I love my friends.

I love my house.

I love my room.

I love my swing.

I love the feel of Edison St. on the soles of my bare feet.

I love my flowers.

I love my spiders that nest on the Fay bridge.

I love those two oak trees in front of my house.

I love all these colors, so soft you can feel them.

I love to be here.

I love this vibrance—this life within my being.

I love...

I love, I love, I love.









But if I got a chance, I wouldn't think twice about leaving this place I call home.

Darling, let's be adventurers.