Monday, June 29

A Favorite


A Psalm For Life by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

What The Heart Of The Young Man Said To The Psalmist.

Tell me not, in mournful numbers, 
   Life is but an empty dream! 
For the soul is dead that slumbers, 
   And things are not what they seem. 

Life is real! Life is earnest! 
   And the grave is not its goal; 
Dust thou art, to dust returnest, 
   Was not spoken of the soul. 

Not enjoyment, and not sorrow, 
   Is our destined end or way; 
But to act, that each to-morrow 
   Find us farther than to-day. 

Art is long, and Time is fleeting, 
   And our hearts, though stout and brave, 
Still, like muffled drums, are beating 
   Funeral marches to the grave. 

In the world’s broad field of battle, 
   In the bivouac of Life, 
Be not like dumb, driven cattle! 
   Be a hero in the strife! 

Trust no Future, howe’er pleasant! 
   Let the dead Past bury its dead! 
Act,— act in the living Present! 
   Heart within, and God o’erhead! 

Lives of great men all remind us 
   We can make our lives sublime, 
And, departing, leave behind us 
   Footprints on the sands of time; 

Footprints, that perhaps another, 
   Sailing o’er life’s solemn main, 
A forlorn and shipwrecked brother, 
   Seeing, shall take heart again. 

Let us, then, be up and doing, 
   With a heart for any fate.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

feed your soul

Honest Love

What will happen when my heart breaks...again?

Next time my heart will break deeper. Such is life. It may not break in the same way as before, but in a newly excruciating manner. What wounds may have healed over will tear open in a fiery pain that reaches beyond the old. Deeper, wider, fuller. 

Will everything that has broken my heart before never break my heart again?

Everything that has broken my heart before will settle into the cracks it once made—boring down, as water carves away rock. So the stone in my chest dwindles.

Is there anything I can do to keep my heart from breaking?

My heart will break so long as I love anything. But the heart is made for loving. Therefore, my heart can break so long as it is beating. 

Friday, April 19

Do You See What I See?

       This week in class, I learned that the earth revolves around the sun, which is the center of a solar
 system. Ours is the only system which is constantly on one limb of the ever-turning Milky Way galaxy, one of thousands upon thousands of others in the known universe. I saw the glory of God in the remains of a star which died possibly thousands of years ago--yeah, it's still shining. It was amusing--the funny theories little men have come up with, postulating about causes and reactions, all just guesses at what has been set in the eternal mind of God as effortlessly as the wind would carry a feather. Learning about His creation and genius in stars was intimate and thrilling, just like falling in love--with the pulling of my heart and knot in my throat, without the accompanying fear. Just awe-struck love.

       You know what star is my favorite?


My star. Because it is mine. Because it gave light to the rose in my garden, which grew and grew, that was tamed and tamed. And... "You are responsible...forever...for what you tame." 

Do you see it? Please... Please see it.

Monday, March 11

Romanticism

Remember when our lives were a fairytale? When joy was just simple, so pure?

I miss that old mindset. I wonder sometimes if it'd be okay to take it back.

Thursday, February 28

Typical Uselessness

Hello, Blogging World.

As it has been while, why don't I go into my usual soppy diary-like entry?
Sound good?
 
Let's get started.
 
  I am pleased to announce that there are now only four days, two hours, and four minutes until the day we can close on our house, and be rid of this tiny little two bedroom apartment for good. That is, if all goes well, Lord willing. After that, it will be a week until the NLE.
 
  Living here has been an emotional roller-coaster of an experience. It started off on a painful foot, as I was assaulted by the flu and then migraines for the first two weeks. It wasn't as hard at first, as you might expect, for us to adjust to the even closer quarters than in our old house. I think it was mainly because we were so happy to be done with all the stress the Fall semester brought with it, and it was relaxing to be able to spend solid time alone together, with nothing much to do, and nowhere really to go.
  Once Christmas vacation was over, David went back to work, I began my new school, and Micah commenced his final semester of high school. And house hunting began in full. It was a battle of the wills--urban vs. country, top-of-the-budget and ready to move into vs. cheap fixer-upper.
 
"I don't like this lay out..."
 
"It's too small!" "Honey, what are you talking about? It's too big!"
 
"You guys...why is there a sink in the children's bedroom?" 
 
I won't recount the whole epic story of how we finally ended up in this house, for the comic tragedy would be much better expressed in person. Next time you see me, I'll tell you the bed-time story.
 
  But, the point is, we finally settled on this one, and we're all (for the most part) happy with it. That happy family feeling has been graciously sustained by the power of God, but there have definitely been moments when everyone hated everyone. We will be happy when privacy--a concept we haven't really been familiar with for a while--is reinstated into our lives. It will be good, for the preservation of sanity at least.
 
  I think I've learned things, though. Recently I've noticed that my priorities are not straight, and I think this time has been a good alignment-agent, or at least a nice catalyst toward that end.
 
 In my battle against pride and a haughty spirit, I confess I have not done well. That has been hard, and many pity-parties have ensued, predictably. Much of my grumpiness and irritability was probably due to this struggle. It feels hopeless sometimes, like my heart of stone is forever unbreakable. God has been graciously hammering, though. Pray He will give me faith--He always prevails, and there is no stone He cannot turn into flesh.
 
  I'm making friends here! Yep, it's true. This week at CC, I told the girls about my dad's experience with FedEx and macaroni cheese powder. I tell everyone that story... One step in the bonding process may now be crossed off. I was even invited to a birthday party for one of the girls! A surprise one, that I won't be able to make it to. I feel a little bad about that... But I think I'll get her a gift anyways.
 
  Oh. My. Stars. You guys? There's this place called the Popcorn Emporium here. Complete with every flavor of popcorn you can imagine. It is beautiful, and... Oh... You just have to see it...
 
  Also coming up is my National Latin Exam/Florida visit/Spring Break! I was happily counting down the days, until I realized that I may as well be counting down the days to my own death by Latin exam. Noooo! *cue frantic studying* There is no end to the panics.
  I'm also... a little bit nervous about what I'll find when I go back. I mean, obviously no one's world was turned upside down by my departure, and I don't expect anyone to be like "delaney, at last!! I haven't breathed since you were gone!!!" Hahahah. That would just be impractical... and a little bit creepy. But part of me is afraid to find that it's actually been better there, and everyone was just relieved to have one less person to worry about. I'm afraid of the fake "We missed you!" and the strained, awkward small talk they'll try to make.
  But, I've decided--that's not how I should look at it. Even if they didn't miss me... I'll still be so happy to seem them again. I'll try not to care for much other than that thought.
 
I'm making progress in my efforts toward self-restraint, y'all. Okay, so if you have to limit yourself to only Facebook stalking someone who isn't even on your friends list to once a week...you have problems. (blarghblarghblargh&some rawrs) But, it's a step in the right direction! I will one day be weaned of this ridiculousness. (...sadly)
 
  Well, I'd better wrap it up. Here's to my first real, long-ish post in a while. I hope it exceeded all your expectations.
 
bye.
 
P.S.--did I mention I'm crazy excited for Spring break with three of my favoritest evers? ^.^ It's almost heeeereee!!!

Friday, February 1

I Just Want To Climb A Tree.

I'm starting to realize that I will never find anything like the beauty that I have left. But I hope I can come to cherish the new, different beauty that is here.

Sunday, January 27

A Girl Can Dream

Crazy, stupid dreams, but sweet ones nevertheless.

Please enjoy the following selections from the lyrics to Taylor Swift's "Enchanted":

There I was again tonight 
Forcing laughter, faking smiles 
Same old tired lonely place 
Walls of insincerity, 
Shifting eyes and vacancy 
Vanished when I saw your face  

 Your eyes whispered, 
"Have we met?" 
Across the room your silhouette 
Starts to make its way to me 

All I can say is I was enchanted to meet you 

 This night is sparkling, don't you let it go 
I'm wonderstruck, blushing all the way home 
I'll spend forever wondering if you knew 
I was enchanted to meet you 

 The lingering question kept me up 
2 AM, who do you love? 
I wonder 'til I'm wide awake 

And now I'm pacing back and forth 
Wishing you were at my door 
I'd open up and you would say, 
"Hey, 
It was enchanting to meet you, 
All I know is I was enchanted to meet you." 

This night is flawless, don't you let it go 
I'm wonderstruck, dancing around all alone 
I'll spend forever wondering if you knew 
I was enchanted to meet you 

 This is me praying that:
 This was the very first page 
Not where the story line ends 
My thoughts will echo your name 
Until I see you again 
These are the words I held back 
As I was leaving too soon :

I was enchanted to meet you 

 Please don't be in love with someone else...
Please don't have somebody waiting on you... 

 ........................
Bah. Who am I kidding? You were too good to be true. Dreams like this don't ever come to be.